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IRREPLACEABLE YOU

I came across this post from a previous blog I’d written. I loved the message so I thought I’d re-share. <3

I’m currently wiping away the last tears from my red, puffy eyes. My emotions have been striped bare and I’m feeling deeply reflective. There’s nothing like a good Rom-Com to pull on your heart strings.

“Irreplaceable You” is about a woman who thinks that she’s pregnant, only to learn that she has an incurable tumor instead. No spoiler-alert necessary, you can guess how it ends.

Beyond being a highly emotional empath to begin with, I felt especially impacted by this film because the dying woman is my age. This is a new experience for me.

As a child, you’re disconnected from the struggle of grownups. Their experiences with death, birth, tragedy and triumph are hypothetical. Yet for the first time in my life, I’m staring down the age-appropriate barrel of a dying woman’s gun. I’m no longer the child watching a movie where the storyline is a far-off experience that adults have. I’m now an adult!

When the hell did that happen? How am I old enough to relate to this woman’s struggles or contemplate my own mortality? When did I become a 30-something woman who can accurately recall details from 20 years ago? One minute you’re learning to ride a bike and the next minute, you’re teaching your child to do the same.

I’m not writing this to fixate death, however. While this is an inevitable part of our beautiful journey, I’m more interested in exploring how we are choosing to live.

I had this thought in meditation recently, “are you living like you’re dying or dying like you’re living?”

One day, we will leave this physical experience and the only thing left behind will be our social media accounts and overdue taxes.

When that day comes, will you be satisfied with your story? Can you say that you lived purposefully and passionately or will you have a lifetime of regrets? Did you meet yourself deeply or did you let someone else decide who you should be? Did you have loving connections or were your interactions superficial? Most importantly, did you learn what it means to be present, to live in the moment, to get lost in a sunset and to laugh until the tears fall? Did you experience, explore and examine your life? What is the legacy you will leave behind?

Currently, my 12-year-old fur baby is snoring in a plump little ball at the end of my bed. I am painfully aware of the precious time I have left with him. He’s been with me nearly 1/3 of my life and though he’s smelly, hogs the bed, eats my plants and has an affinity for ladies panties, I love him so fiercely that it hurts. This movie was a beautiful reminder to enjoy this seemingly insignificant moment with him.

A day will come when his picture is the only thing left that I can hold onto. But rather than getting lost in that heartbreaking tomorrow, I can choose to be with him today. In this perfect moment, he is here, which is why I need to be too.

Be. Here. Now.

Three little words that pack a punch. Just like the woman in this movie, none of us knows when our number is up. But what if we could throw caution to the wind and act like this is the only moment we will ever have…because it is.

Let’s get all cray cray and start living on purpose, putting our phones down and really seeing the people and places around us. Life is too damn short to be going on auto-pilot.

Let this be your gentle reminder, as it was mine.

Stop waiting for tomorrow, stop thinking you have time and stop treating people like they will be around forever.

Live like today is all you’ll ever have.


In Love and Light,


Chivonne